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  • Friday Rules: 31.07.2015
  • Post author
    Megan Hodson
  • Friday Rules

Friday Rules: 31.07.2015

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"Jade Helm 15" Board Game Created to Commemorate Obama's Texas Takeover

Roll A Three For Dystopian Warfare. As anybody who's anybody will tell ya, the U.S. state of Texas is an absolute mess. I don't usually trash-talk an entire state (screw you, Rhode Island!) but Texas' recent antics have crossed the line of sanity into no-cowboy's-land. If you weren't aware, right now the U.S. military's special force units are conducting 'unconventional warfare' training in seven different states, and they're calling it 'Jade Helm 15'. Cue Texans choking on their cans of spit - it must all be a ruse to steal their guns and impose martial law and take away their rights to shoot anything that moves! The governor of Texas has deployed the state national guard to 'keep an eye' on the soldiers, and Texan citizens have begun burying guns and collecting ammunition for when real life ends and the Hunger Games begins. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! A company called Subaltern Games has created an online board game that pits Texas against the federal government in a 'winner takes all' showdown. Texas wins if it survives for 10 turns, and the U.S. wins by establishing 5 Walmarts as concentration camps (a legitimate thing that some Texans believe is about to happen). At this point, we're floating dangerously close to 'conspiracy theory waters', so let's pull back a little and declare the whole thing mental. Absolutely mental.

 

Let's NOT Do Game Night. Some photos have been unearthed of retro and incredibly awkward looking board games. As in, 'let's put this in the cupboard and never speak of it again' awkward. Let the pain commence!

 

1. Spin the Bottle. Otherwise known as, 'why not have your first proper kiss with your sibling?'

 

2. Funny Finger. This one makes me feel weird.

 

3. Feeley Meeley. Quick! Put your hand in and feel around for some emotional scarring later in life!

 

4. Let's Be Safe! a.k.a. EVERYONE, STOP HAVING FUN IMMEDIATELY.

 

5. The Backbone. If she's not responding to your flirting, just draw a colourful web on her back and make up your own game. That'll impress her.

I'd do a few more but I cherish my readership too much to make you feel queasy. Did you own any of these? Would you even tell us if you did? Get in touch! And then get help.

 

Game Of The Week - Discworld: Ankh Morpork.

'So much universe, and so little time.' - Terry Pratchett

For a game that's only 4 years old, Discworld: Ankh Morpork has built up a vast legion of game fans - but what else do you expect from Sir Terry Pratchett? In this 2-4 player game, Lord Vetinari has disappeared, leaving everyone else to try and take over the city! Each player has their own secret 'win' conditions for their particular character, meaning everyone will have goals you won't even know about - meanwhile, you'll all try to place as many minions and buildings as possible in a bid to seize power, collecting money as you go until one player meets the win condition of their character, effectively ending the game. Recently, the licensing on the game changed and got all kinds of complicated, which means that all the copies currently being sold are the last copies to ever be made. We currently have just over 20 left, which means that once they're gone, they're gone, and I don't even want to consider what's going to happen on eBay afterwards, but this isn't really a game of numbers. This is a game of all things fantasy and all things Pratchett!

 


New Releases / Restocks / Coming Soon!

 

New Releases Coming Next Week! Ride through the apocalypse in Wrath of the Gods - The End of the World RPG; brand new Yu-Gi-Oh Clash of Rebellions; get royally powerful and corrupt in The Magnates; put yourself under pressure in this unique 1-player game of Hostage Negotiator; Mindjammer RPG - Hearts & Minds; Karthador RPG (Savage Worlds); Quartermaster General - Air Marshal expansion; and the brand you've all been waiting for, it's the Doge Deck Box Cozy

 

New Releases Available Now - Star Trek Attack Wing Wave 16 has flown into store with ships like USS Dauntless, USS Pasteur and Ferengi Kreechta!; a new expansion to Talisman with The Harbinger; Munchkin Adventure Time 2 - It's a Dungeon Crawl!; feast your eyes on new sights with Discoveries; expand your Firefly goodies with Jetwash and Esmerelda expansions; Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous - Demon's Heresy expansion; plus some super cool restocks with Castles of Burgundy, Lanterns - The Harvest Festival; Star Munchkin 3 Diplomatic Impunity; Star Munchkin Space Ships; Munchkin Adventure Time; Shadowrun Lockdown RPG; Shadowrun Data Trails (normal and limited edition) RPG; and The Strange RPG - Worlds Numberless and Strange

 

Arriving Soon - get miserable in the funniest way with Munchkin Gloom; jump into fresh danger in Star Wars Imperial Assault - Twin Shadows expansion; 1 new standalone Pandemic game with the hotly anticipated Pandemic: LegacyFlea Market, where finding bargains is now a skill to be judged on (woohoo!); some thrills and sci-fi spills with Legendary Encounters - Predator Deck Building Game; for our complete bunch of pre-order games, check out our 'Coming Soon' collectionPRE-ORDERS FOR ALL THESE BEING TAKEN NOW!

 

Get involved in the conversation, follow us on Twitter: @rulescardiff or join us on Facebook: Rules of Play. Keep an eye out for more stuff from our blog - we release new features and posts regularly!

  • Post author
    Megan Hodson
  • Friday Rules

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